You know, I have to take each day as it comes. That is one of my biggest challenges, learning to live in each moment and take each day as it comes, and to not panic about things that will help no one by panicking about. I know that. I think about that. At least I am aware of my own faults.
Lately, when I have a trouble in my mind, or when I want to beat myself up over something I did, or did not do, I imagine like a Tetris game. From original game boy. I make myself think about the problem as a bigger picture, and throw each piece down to rest on the other pieces until all the pieces are gone away, stacked up, one problem on another.
One of my worries of late has been the idea that I am making changes, but not enough or not quickly enough. I beat myself up for setbacks. I am trying to tell myself that a mountain is not built overnight. Is that what they say? Things take time. So sure, I have joined the gym, but I don’t have to make it there everyday. Sure I cut back on smoking, maybe I can’t quit all at once. Sure I cut back on drinking, sometimes I am going to have 3 glasses instead of 2 and get a buzz on. I only have 120 dollars in my savings account, but it’s 120 dollars more than I had before. The thing is I should celebrate my small victories, instead of beating myself up for all the things I have not done yet. I know this.
It’s just a matter of avoiding the bruises.