Every now and then I wake up with a brain that feels like it is made of cobwebs and spiders, uncurling their long legs in the corner. I find it hard to speak, and I find it hard to think. I feel like I am beating a rug outside against the step, and dust is getting everywhere.
I feel like screaming at all my students, and slapping 18 year old Brazilian girls who do not listen to me. Patience does not exist on days like today.
I wonder if that is connected to anything else that happens in my brain? If the lines are getting crossed somewhere. All mixed up in there. Anxiety, sadness, anger.
Either way, I guess the lesson of today is sometimes we all have bad days for no friggen reason. That is why we say things like, “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” and shit storms like that. The lesson of the day is to not beat myself up about it.
The lesson of the day is to come into your classroom on a break, so the savages can not look at you for 5 minutes, and close the door.
Put on a punk song and move your head up and down, until you feel rage leaving your shoulders.
is all I can do.