Up, Up, Down.

I have been trying to eat better, stay positive, read books that impact my mental health, exercise, sleep better all in an effort to curb my anxiety and be a more clear minded person. But sometimes I screw up. I get drunk and eat garlic fingers and then spend the whole rest of the day feeling sorry at myself and even worse because I am hungover and can’t do anything productive.

But then I exercise, get a lot done, eat only healthy, have a good night’s sleep and I still want to kill someone. I feel an overwhelming anxiety in my chest and I don’t know how they got there. I didn’t invite it. I wish it would leave.

I breathe deep and try to tell myself that this is part of loving all of myself. That sometimes I will be cranky, down, upset. And perhaps that is human nature. Perhaps you can work all you want at being better but sometimes you won’t be, you won’t be better.

I guess I have to be true to myself and let the feelings be.

All I know is I can’t wait to take a bath and forget I exist.¬†Image.

And maybe, hopefully, that will just be today.

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