How serious should we take a degenerative disease?

I have been mulling and mulling over this in my mind. See, I have something wrong with me. Something is wrong with my blood. I have very low white blood cells and they never get any higher, for the 2 years that they have been monitoring my blood. The answer right now is probably that I have Lupus, which I guess is impossible to know right now, but if it is coming, it is coming.
And I am starting to feel some of the symptoms now. They are coming down the pipe line.
My skin is rashy,
I wake up with sore hands, the arthritis is starting.
Sometimes I want to feel sorry for myself, I want people to tell me they are sorry and that it is terrible news.
But Pam does not do that. Pam is a friend of mine. She is tough, has been through a lot and has had arthritis since she was a teenager.
Yesterday, as we had a drink after our dodgeball game I said to her, “Every morning when I wake up now, my hands are sore.”
And she said, “So? So you have some pain in the morning, it does not last all day, stretch it out a bit.”
And at first I was like, whoa, but I have been thinking about it for the last 12 hours and she is right. I should not concentrate on the bad, on the things that may or may not happen to me.
I should focus on how the little rest of my life keeps going all around me,
and how small little pains are not something I should let weigh me down.
I might need that positivity in the future.


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