I am having a very bad day. Consumed in feelings of jealously and rage. Wondering how the hell I ever got to this place and how I am not on the same page. Twelve years ago drinking and having fun with my friends, no one owned houses then and I forgot it would all end. […]
Collections My mother collects my conformities like tokens. She puts them in her purse to tell her friends about later. Things like how I finally got a real boyfriend, or that I bought a pair of dress pants from a real store. I used to wish she cared more about my non-conformities, could […]
Upon reflection of confrontation, I realize it makes me want to run and hide, behind a curtain of my own paralyzing self-doubt. Not wanting to be too loud or unladylike, makes me question the feminist mindset of my mother’s generation and what percentage it ran at. Although I suppose it was harder to gain resources […]
Ugly polyester blouses and generic black pants, a bit too much shadow around the eye. Some silently judging or others not so silently, clicking their tongues in disapproval. Wishing to be back as the queens of their own classrooms, if they are not going to learn anything they agree with.
Each day is a day you can change. They say. The memes, the Twitter re-tweeters, the fashion and fitness magazines. The painting with the quote on top. Change is difficult when most change requires money, or as I think about it, almost all things require money. Real change means to the masses new clothes and […]
Being stuck in a place where I am not satisfied is like always burning a fire, inside your own throat, allowing the ashes to scatter down to your heart. Always constantly comparing yourself to others is like dark poison that you are injecting into your own brain. You are stabbing yourself in the back. You are […]
I’m in the same room as an ex-lover. And I can feel his smooth shoulders, from three tables over pushing down on me. I’m suffocating, I’m back; lost among the crumbled sheets, was it possibly four years ago? I can’t remember anything with clarity, greyness has clouded my vision. I’ve forgotten the colours of black […]